#4 somethings. . . more!

It was the summer before my 16th birthday. I was really into having funky hair and at this particular time I had colored my hair every color of the rainbow with markers. I know I know childish but I was... I was a child.. and it was so much fun. So... I went to this park. I loved this park. It had a field of just grass behind the baseball field and it had bushes to run through with paths that lead to no where special but it was just cool to have paths to go on. It was two levels. The upper level was where the fields were and they had a covered pavilion with picnic area and a place to play tennis against the wall it was pretty cool then the lower level had steep trail ways to get down to it or you can use the right way and go on a pathway made of blacktop but it's just more fun to slide down the steep hill. Well the lower level is where there is a play ground and swings and fountains.. which were always dry ... but I always imagined them to be full of water so that we could splash in them any way I believe that my nephew was 7 years old and he was on a Tee ball team. I went to his game with my brother and mom and a few others that day. It was a blast and I just loved the feeling of the fresh outdoors. Then it happened. I was wearing a white shirt.. Of course right? and I started to smell something ... something so lovely and familiar then I thought ahhh one of my absolutely favorite smells. RAIN!!! I thought you know what? I'll just stay here it will pass as a sprinkle..but no... And now I'm getting poured on. everyone rain to the pavilion...I took a moment longer to get there and I'm now soaked.. No it wasn't a great peep show because of the white shirt, because by the time that I made it up to the pavilion... I had a tie dyed shirt. I had forgotten that I had marked up my hair with Crayola Markers... Just earlier. HA!!!! I truly loved these experiences. How fun right? I miss my crazy hair experiences. Yes I'm grown up but so much of me doesn't want to. I still want my nose pierced and of course have funky hair styles too. I really miss the real me! 

 Ha a funny story that I just remembered..... When I was really young must have been 5 or 6 years old I went to my Grandpa's Farm.. just what we called it. It was his property that my aunt and uncle actually own now. I loved it there and My dad, my brothers, and my sister were all together and we decided that we were gonna go camping ... under the stars. It was wonderful, beautiful, peaceful, and I just loved it so much. To be in nature and of course BE IN THE MIDDLE of EVERYONE when we slept. I believe what we did was open up a couple of sleeping bags and put it directly on the ground.. then we had blankets galore. So we got all snuggled up then I swear out of no where I start hearing sounds.. lots and lots of sounds... I was beginning to freak out a bit. So it was the golden opportunity to tease such a little sister since I was the baby in the family for my brothers to gang up on me and they said.. oh my gosh do you hear that rabid deer? I would say WHAT in the loudest whisper that I could yell. Then my other bro would say no.. that's just a bear or is it a bull. I was imagining the worst. I was sooo scared by this time that I was crying and they felt so bad that they revealed this animal to me as a bull frog.. And I imagined such scary thoughts about that.. and I would cry .. will it come and get me and eat me? Oh they would say no no no.. they might just nibble your toes.. AHhhhhhhhhhh i was going insane. Finally after all the laughs and giggles they finally apologized to me and told me what they really were. I could finally fall asleep but of course I hid under the blankets the whole night. Then day came it was extremely early for me and just a slight cold breeze. I was beginning to stretch when I noticed that I had turned myself all the way around and my head was facing the opposite direction than it was the night before, when I went to bed.. The funny part is that I woke up... half way down the hill.. and when I had opened my eyes, there was a daddy long-leg spider RIGHT NEXT TO MY NOSE on the ground. I jumped up so fast and then realized every one was up already.. in search of real wild growing strawberries. We put them into dad's pancakes and I was in heaven. I love that farm and I hope someday I'll be able to bring my children there to go camping just like I did.  I know we would have such a blast together.

#3 more random memories

Ok so today I've been thinking a lot about singing and a memory popped into my head of when I was 17 years old. I had this wonderful boyfriend Mike H. He was amazing and sang beautifully. He had this band. I thought that alone was cool and then one day he asked me if I wouldn't mind filling in for their friend Susie who was their back up singer. She was leaving town for a while and they had a gig in NYC at the Lions Den (a bar). They had some songs in mind and I was extremely nervous. I didn't want to pass up this opportunity because singing and music was my life at that time. One of the songs was one of the bands called Human Nature.. and the other was from Tears for fears called Woman in chains. I practiced for a week straight.. That's all I had. Every free moment was singing. I was extremely ready we practiced in Poughkeepsie in his basement. It was all decked out and looked like a stage. I remember we went down there at about 8pm and set up for that night. I think we started our gig at 12 midnight. My mother came a long for "my protection" but I love her so I didn't mind. Ok so I performed Human Nature first and it went so well. I was so excited. PUMPED!! People were cheering not many were there maybe no more than 50 at the time. I still loved it because it was a small bar and it felt packed. I sat down again and waited my turn again mean while a very attractive... HOT man walked in the door and I apparently caught his eye. He was smoking and was sitting at a tall table. He just kept looking at me. Then my boyfriend called me up and introduced me as I walked by this guy dropped his cigarette out of his mouth completely and onto the floor. I paused. Looked at him and said You dropped something.. with my little cocky smile on my face and if I remember right I believe I stepped it out. Anyway I performed this song AMAZINGLY and I am my own worse critic. I felt amazing and was extremely happy with the performance and hugged my boyfriend. I then walked down to the table with my mom there and sat and had a water. This guy.. with the cig problem.. came over to me and proceeded to hand me a business card and said "You have the most beautiful voice please keep in contact with me." I took the card and said thank you. I looked at it and noticed he was the owner to a comic book shop. I thought that was pretty cool. Then my mother took it out of my hands and ripped it up. I felt really sad. I know I probably never would have contacted him ... BUT... It would have been a really cool souvenir to bring home.
Then the highlight for the evening .. I had to help a drunk lady get to the bathroom and Fast! HA!!
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It was the day before my 14th birthday. I was invited over to my best friends house Debbi M. I remember it was 9th grade because my hair was COMPLETELY black! Yep I went through that faze. I think it looked great on me. I remember I came in to the house and sat down with a huge sigh.. It was always a relief for me to go there as rare of an occasion that it was. I felt safe and comfortable and wow Debbi's dad could cook. I always looked forward to eating and eating a lot when I went there. So Debbi said to me.."Oh Evana can you come with me?" I said sure. I went to her room with her. She was doing something on one side and said do you mind getting me a shirt from my closet .. I said not at all. I started to walk over to the closet and began to open it.. and I heard the most amazingly HUGE sound of SURPRISE!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I swear I almost slammed the door shut and I jumped about 3 feet into the air. holding one hand over my mouth and one on my chest. I almost had a heart attack. Then one at a time people came out of the closet. hahahaha!! ;) It was like a clown car and it didn't seem to stop. I think there were 8-10 people crammed into that closet. It was great!!! Then I saw him. I don't even know how he knew to come. It was that guy (a football player)I had a crush on. Did he know? Did he like me too? WOW I was over whelmed with excitement and pitter patters galore. His name is Ike J. He was beautiful to me... clean cut handsome and wow he was here at my surprise birthday party (That was Debbi's gift to me). I finally found words and I smiled huge then said Thank you... thank you so much for being here. It was amazing. It was my 1st and only Surprise birthday party in my teens. I had one other on my 10th birthday but this was beyond my expectations for sure. I believe we all went outside and went on walks or played some games...I really don't know our remember. All I remember is that I had a few moments with Ike by myself. He was I think 17 at the time and I was basically 14. He was wearing 2 silver necklaces. He took the thinner one off his neck and gave it to me as my birthday gift. As he was putting it on me his arms were around my neck. I stared into his eyes and he stared back at me. He smiled big and slowly came closer. I was terrified to know what was about to happen. Knowing that I couldn't even date till I was 16 and that was 2 years away... I froze. He was warm and he slightly and sweetly kissed my lips. This was my first kiss! I kissed him back. Then out of no where I hear.. I'm gonna tell on you... It was Debbi's little Brother Rocco. Crap! I was terrified. I was caught and now I'm in trouble. HA.. Well I was lucky to find out that Rocco never did get me in trouble. Wow what a memory..  It just feels like it was yesterday. Many of my memories feel that way.

Just more stories Day #2

What to speak of today? I remember.. when I was young I must have been about 5-6 I was climbing our maple tree in the back yard. My brothers were climbing too and they climbed to the top of the tree where they would sway in the wind. I couldn't make it that far but I have always wanted to try. They told me.. When you are 7 you for sure can go up there. I believe one bro was 9 and the other 11 and I craved to climb I tried but I was just too scared and my little legs couldn't stretch far enough to push my way up the branches. So I found these two branches that grew very close together enough to sit on or lay down on. I would sometimes bring paper and a pencil with me and draw flowers or the tree or what ever. It was my safe haven and I loved it. I tried again when i was 7 ..couldn't do it and tried again at 9 still couldn't reach with confidence. Then again at 11 then 12 I believe the last time that I've tried to climb that tree I must have been 17 years old. And you would think that I could go farther.. I did.. about 5 ft higher and that was it. I just couldn't do it. It was too scary for me and I've always regretted not getting to the swaying tree limbs. Still I loved that tree. It knew just what I needed, those two branches just for me.

I remember when I was around 5 I found this cat. He was black and White. Mostly his paws were white and the unique thing about him was that he had 8 toes on each front paw so his feet were huge!!! We named him mittens. Just looked like he was always wearing mittens. He was beautiful. One day I saw him across the street. I called for him and called for him. Then he saw me and started to run towards me. I quickly went from the feeling of joy and happiness to utter pain and sickness. I saw a HUGE mack truck coming up my road.. it's not a main street so that sort of thing didn't just happen a lot. I saw that my cat was running now towards me. I screamed NO!!! STOP!! He didn't notice..he just wanted to come to me. I was so sick because as he ran into the road the truck had gone directly over him. Then he pulled his crushed little body across the road and tried to hide under my neighbors porch. I cried to him and called him to come out. He wouldn't he didn't want me to see him dying. It hurt so bad. His entire backside was crushed completely. I felt sick. It was all my fault. If I had only not called him then. He would have stayed a live. We eventually got him out from under the porch and his complete front paws were fine. We put him in a blanket lined box and I held his little paws all the way to the Vet. He was still a live. I cried and cried and said I was sorry. It hurt so bad to know that he had to be put to sleep. I didn't know what to do I felt so sick. What a good cat he was. I still feel sadness for my kitty to this day. I believe I always will.

I remember a small little memory. I must have been 1 or closer to 2 I was in a tree swing made of wood and metal. I believe I was left in there to keep my happy and calm while my mom did some house work.. and I remember it stopped swinging. I didn't mind though, I was an observer. I listened to everything. I saw the trees move with the wind and at this particular time I remember that the swing broke. I don't remember being scared but who really knows I just remember that I wasn't crying. I was dangling from the swing. My left side was still holding and the right side had fallen. It's interesting the thought process of a child as opposed to as an adult. My reactions were very minimal. I just waited till someone found me.

I was 3 years old. We had this round kiddie pool in Tennessee that we would of course play in.. you know the type.. Blue about 4 feet across by 1 foot high. Well I remember it was late... or dark out at least and my brother and sister maybe it was more of us and I were jumping and hiding inside this little pool every time a car would pass. We'd pretend to dive in and try not to be seen. It was so much fun for me and I felt so important and so grown up when I got to do things like that with my brother's and sister's.

How do I start this story...? I believe I was around 5 at this point and I guess I would say that my sister Sarah used to love to come home from school and come up with Ditto sheets and an after school program for us the little brothers and sister to follow. It was so exciting. There would be so many fun activities planned. We would ride our bikes.. well not me because I didn't have a bike so I would ride with my sister on her bike to a donut shop all the way down Foxhall Ave. We would donate our 10 cents or 25 cents to to get a couple of donuts (jelly filled is my favorite) and we would split them one bite at a time. Then we would go to our elementary school and explore the HUGE (25 meter diameter) forest. I always thought that I wouldn't find my way out. I would imagine that we were out in the country somewhere and that we had to find the treasure. We would make maps and burn the edges crinkle them up and pretend that lined paper was a real map. My imagination grew so much with my sisters help. I would love to learn things from her because to me she knew everything.

I found a cat after my mittens cat was put to sleep. This kitty cat was beautiful She had every color in her hair. I names her sissy. She had walked under our back fence and I knew that I would keep her. She stayed. She loved us and basically adopted us as a family. I loved this cat but unfortunately I don't believe that I had ever gotten a picture of her. What a shame. Eventually Sissy got sick. Really sick I don't know from what my mom thinks that she cleaned out the litter once and sprayed Lysol and she feels it was her fault for getting Sissy sick. I just remember feeling.. I just can't go this time. I have to stay home. And I said good bye to her. It's always hard for me to say good bye to my cats after the way mittens had to die.
So when my father came home he was beaming. I didn't understand.. he had his hand in his coat upon his chest. And I was crying of course and he said.. my name I looked up at him and he pulled out his hand from his coat with the tiniest littlest Siamese kitten that I've ever seen. She was just a baby. The moment I saw her I thought that she looked just like Barbara Streisand whom I loved at the time and had just watched her show funny girl so I named my kitty Fanny after her character Fanny Brice. She was lovely, elegant and beautiful. I needed her so bad and all of my sadness went away. I was so happy!

My first memories!

WOW what do I say? I don't have to say anything special just as long as I begin. Life is amazing really. Yet there are so many reasons to hurt. I'm sitting here thinking about my life story and what do I say how do I begin. At the beginning? my first cry? I don't think that would work for me. Rather just randomly blurt out what ever comes to my mind first.
Right now I'm remembering myself in Tennessee. I think I must have been 3 years old. I remember we had a cold cellar but we could only get there from behind our home and it sat below our house. I would wear my fathers big old black boots and walk down there we would store black walnuts down there. I swear I could eat them till my stomach would hurt. I remember in this memory my bro. who is 3 years older than I swear was the same height as me. It made me feel special to wear those boots but it was difficult to walk in. It would come all the way up my leg past my knees and to the top of my legs.

I remember when it was almost easter I was still three almost 4 I suppose and my hair was just below my ears. I wore a yellow dress I suppose it was my favorite at the time because it's in a few of my pictures when I was young and my sister and our neighbor held me up between them so we can have a pic together in our neighbors room right in front of a window. I was barely on the windows edge with my butt and I remember it hurting my butt so bad but I had to stay there until the camera flashed with a smile on my face. I was always good with things like that. Never did complain much.
That same year I remember that I was running in our front yard. I was wearing these brown sandals with an open toe. I somehow got a big bumble bee stuck under my toes. I remember hurting so bad and trying to run into the house ... My mother got our big popcorn/pasta bowl and quickly made this huge mixture of baking soda and water or oatmeal I don't remember it fully but I remember they soaked my foot to help with the swelling.
I have since been stung one other time by a big bumble bee and I swelled up so bad up to my knee. The fact is that it's only been on that same foot.
My mother once had a 110mm camera. I used to crave to take pictures with it. She told me.. Alright.. just one picture. I must have searched and searched for just the right place and just the right thing for a half hour then I saw it.. it was right there so beautiful so wonderful but dying on the edges. I loved it I framed it just so perfectly. It was a rose. The very first picture that I believe I've ever taken. It was HUGE it was in my neighbors yard at the top of their little hill just waiting for me. I swear it was smiling. Holding out just long enough for me to take it's picture.
I was almost 8 years old and I went to school like usual. I was in the third grade in Mr. Diamonds class. It was almost my birthday that weekend I believe just a couple days away. My class and I were working on multiplication and I was focusing intensely. I remember I was wearing a matching fuzzy running suit. HA! When we heard a knock on our door. We all sorta looked up and a big RED twinkling nose started to squeeze through the door. It was a clown!!! We were all shocked. Then I realized it was our janitor. His name is smitty... or twinkle nose the clown as it were that day. I remember that he loved me so much that he came in to wish me a happy birthday and we ended up having a party that day. He gave me a card and did tricks. pulled colorfull papers out of his mouth and put big funny glasses on my face and took pictures. I was in heaven that day. I felt popular and well liked. EVERY one wanted an invitation to my party. I gave one to EVERY SINGLE PERSON there. I was finally feeling like I was going to fit in.
My party day came. My best friend Jessica George was there and a boy names Wayne Decker. I so had a crush on him. I remember only one gift that year. It was from Wayne. He gave me a clouded glass necklace in the shape of a Siamese cat. Just like my kitty cat Fanny. It was beautiful and I felt like a princess wearing it. I believe that was the very first time that I received jewelry from a guy. I remember that was the start of me being disliked at school. After I came back to school on the next Monday the girls in my class would ask me where I got the necklace and I would tell them it was from Wayne and they said, " you're lying" It hurt so I would hide that I was wearing it. And eventually some how somewhere I had lost it. I was extremely sad.

My dog Dusty Rusty saved my life once. At least it felt like it to me. I was playing and I must have been about 2 [yes I can remember that far back ] I was on a little slope in the front yard of my Tennessee home when I fell down. I actually don't remember how I fell down but I remember I was head first on my back down the little hill. I remember trying to sit up and I couldn't I got really really scared. I guess my thought process couldn't figure out how to turn to the side at that young age. I just wanted to sit straight up. I called for my dog. "RUSTY... RUSTY" he came running from around back of our home and he saw me. He came to me and took hold of my clothes in his mouth and pulled me to my side to where I could get up on my own. I felt like he saved my life.

When I was young I don't remember how young but I could walk and talk I'm sure. I would try to ride my brothers skateboard [I never did get a hang of it] with out fail I would fall and bust my mouth right on the ground. I would cry and my mouth would bleed and eventually my tooth turned dark. It had died. My grand father was there once. He helped me and sat me on his lap. Comforted me and My memory has it as ... He gave me a sip of his coffee. Here is the interesting thing about it. My grand father passed away over 5 years before I was born. But when I saw his picture I had told my mother that is him that's grandpa huh? She said yes. And I told her that he helped me when I hurt my tooth. I swore by it for years after. It has always been a special memory for me.