WOW what do I say? I don't have to say anything special just as long as I begin. Life is amazing really. Yet there are so many reasons to hurt. I'm sitting here thinking about my life story and what do I say how do I begin. At the beginning? my first cry? I don't think that would work for me. Rather just randomly blurt out what ever comes to my mind first.
Right now I'm remembering myself in Tennessee. I think I must have been 3 years old. I remember we had a cold cellar but we could only get there from behind our home and it sat below our house. I would wear my fathers big old black boots and walk down there we would store black walnuts down there. I swear I could eat them till my stomach would hurt. I remember in this memory my bro. who is 3 years older than I swear was the same height as me. It made me feel special to wear those boots but it was difficult to walk in. It would come all the way up my leg past my knees and to the top of my legs.
I remember when it was almost easter I was still three almost 4 I suppose and my hair was just below my ears. I wore a yellow dress I suppose it was my favorite at the time because it's in a few of my pictures when I was young and my sister and our neighbor held me up between them so we can have a pic together in our neighbors room right in front of a window. I was barely on the windows edge with my butt and I remember it hurting my butt so bad but I had to stay there until the camera flashed with a smile on my face. I was always good with things like that. Never did complain much.
That same year I remember that I was running in our front yard. I was wearing these brown sandals with an open toe. I somehow got a big bumble bee stuck under my toes. I remember hurting so bad and trying to run into the house ... My mother got our big popcorn/pasta bowl and quickly made this huge mixture of baking soda and water or oatmeal I don't remember it fully but I remember they soaked my foot to help with the swelling.
I have since been stung one other time by a big bumble bee and I swelled up so bad up to my knee. The fact is that it's only been on that same foot.
My mother once had a 110mm camera. I used to crave to take pictures with it. She told me.. Alright.. just one picture. I must have searched and searched for just the right place and just the right thing for a half hour then I saw it.. it was right there so beautiful so wonderful but dying on the edges. I loved it I framed it just so perfectly. It was a rose. The very first picture that I believe I've ever taken. It was HUGE it was in my neighbors yard at the top of their little hill just waiting for me. I swear it was smiling. Holding out just long enough for me to take it's picture.
I was almost 8 years old and I went to school like usual. I was in the third grade in Mr. Diamonds class. It was almost my birthday that weekend I believe just a couple days away. My class and I were working on multiplication and I was focusing intensely. I remember I was wearing a matching fuzzy running suit. HA! When we heard a knock on our door. We all sorta looked up and a big RED twinkling nose started to squeeze through the door. It was a clown!!! We were all shocked. Then I realized it was our janitor. His name is smitty... or twinkle nose the clown as it were that day. I remember that he loved me so much that he came in to wish me a happy birthday and we ended up having a party that day. He gave me a card and did tricks. pulled colorfull papers out of his mouth and put big funny glasses on my face and took pictures. I was in heaven that day. I felt popular and well liked. EVERY one wanted an invitation to my party. I gave one to EVERY SINGLE PERSON there. I was finally feeling like I was going to fit in.
My party day came. My best friend Jessica George was there and a boy names Wayne Decker. I so had a crush on him. I remember only one gift that year. It was from Wayne. He gave me a clouded glass necklace in the shape of a Siamese cat. Just like my kitty cat Fanny. It was beautiful and I felt like a princess wearing it. I believe that was the very first time that I received jewelry from a guy. I remember that was the start of me being disliked at school. After I came back to school on the next Monday the girls in my class would ask me where I got the necklace and I would tell them it was from Wayne and they said, " you're lying" It hurt so I would hide that I was wearing it. And eventually some how somewhere I had lost it. I was extremely sad.
My dog Dusty Rusty saved my life once. At least it felt like it to me. I was playing and I must have been about 2 [yes I can remember that far back ] I was on a little slope in the front yard of my Tennessee home when I fell down. I actually don't remember how I fell down but I remember I was head first on my back down the little hill. I remember trying to sit up and I couldn't I got really really scared. I guess my thought process couldn't figure out how to turn to the side at that young age. I just wanted to sit straight up. I called for my dog. "RUSTY... RUSTY" he came running from around back of our home and he saw me. He came to me and took hold of my clothes in his mouth and pulled me to my side to where I could get up on my own. I felt like he saved my life.
When I was young I don't remember how young but I could walk and talk I'm sure. I would try to ride my brothers skateboard [I never did get a hang of it] with out fail I would fall and bust my mouth right on the ground. I would cry and my mouth would bleed and eventually my tooth turned dark. It had died. My grand father was there once. He helped me and sat me on his lap. Comforted me and My memory has it as ... He gave me a sip of his coffee. Here is the interesting thing about it. My grand father passed away over 5 years before I was born. But when I saw his picture I had told my mother that is him that's grandpa huh? She said yes. And I told her that he helped me when I hurt my tooth. I swore by it for years after. It has always been a special memory for me.
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